How Long Should I Wait to Have Sex after Giving Birth?

Before you have sexual intercourse, you should wait until the healing process is complete to avoid hurting delicate tissues. Sexual intercourse can usually e resumed when your pelvic structures and the episiotomy are healed and you feel comfortable. This usually takes about 3-4 weeks. It is important for you and your partner to discuss this beforehand with your doctor and with each other so there will be few misunderstandings and frustrations later.

When you think you are ready to resume sexual relations, proceed slowly and gently. Try to choose a time when you are not rushed. You may notice a dryness of the vagina. This decreased lubrication is a normal response of your body. It may last as long as you breast-feed or until your first menstrual period. Use a water-soluble cream or jelly, baby oil, or saliva to provide lubrication during this time.

Sometimes you may not be as interested in sex as you were before you gave birth. Fatigue is often the major cause of lack of interest in sex at this time for both men and women. You may also be afraid that intercourse will be painful because you have had an epiciotomy or that you will become pregnant. For your comfort, you and your partner may want to try different sexual positions.

The emotional turmoil caused by the changing roles of both new parents may cause a loss of interest in sex as new roles are learned. The constant presence and demands of the baby may decrease your desire.

If there are difficulties, it is important to talk about them. Spend time together without the baby at least once or twice a week. Try to avoid talking about the baby and the household at these special times. Talk about yourselves and each other. Rediscover what brought you together in the first place. There are other forms of sharing your sexual feelings-stroking, touching, or cuddling- that can be very satisfying.